When meeting someone in a video chat you would probably want to go on a real date with this person. What you probably do not want is this date to turn out an epic fail for both of you. Here is a short story of how a user reacted to his online date declining an offer to go back to his apartment after a decent first date: threw a water bottle at his rendezvous, stole her phone, and posted “I’m available for threesomes” on her dating profile. To prevent yourself from such troublesome dates, follow our simple communication rules indicated below.
Here are some signs of your partner being a bad online rendezvous:
- being late for a rendezvous or changing plans last minute instead of honoring your date’s feelings and your commitment to be together as planned;
- exaggerating accomplishments and dating goals instead of being honest and straightforward;
- bogging down the mood with heavy, negative stories from the past instead of starting fresh and creating exciting new stories;
- controlling conversations with a monologue about himself or herself instead of finding a common ground, asking about you and becoming an active listener as an act of love;
- interrogating rather than talking to discover your individuality.
Hints on Online Date Communication Style
As one may conclude from the above indicators of a bad rendezvous, it is important to show respect to a dating partner and not to think of yourself on the first place. Talking about exes or difficult past relationships is forbidden on the first online dates. Such a rendezvous is a unique chance to get to know you as a person, and not your exes. Even if relationship has always been a part of your life, try not to bring it up on the first video rendezvous, this is unnecessary.
Try to find things you have in common with your date. You can do this by being original and, above all, specific about your interests. Instead of saying that you like sunsets, mention the best sunset you have ever seen. State which tracks you enjoy, and your favourite place to see your friends. Specific information does more than make you sound interesting – it also gives potential dates something to follow you up on.
All of the disappointments come from high expectations, so do not expect too much from a first date. You are meeting a complete stranger. Chances are that you will not fancy each other, or that only one of you will fancy the other. This is absolutely normal, so do not lose your faith when your first few rendezvous do not work out. It is very unusual for someone to find a good match in their first few attempts. See it all as experience and learn from your bad and boring dates, then try again.